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General Insanity - Rynoah's Board

Subject Line: FWD:If u delete this ur truely mean(seriously)

Hello, My name is Krista Marie and I have a new born baby named
Natalie. She means the world to me, and just resently, the doctors have
discovered that my little Natalie has Brain Cancer. Unfortunatly my
husband and I don't have the money to pay for the bill. But my husband
and I have worked out a deal with AOL and they have agreed to give us
5cents to each person that recived this e-mail. So please, forward this
to everyone you know, and help out my little Natalie and I.

        -Krista Marie

So good to be back.  Anyway, this is the newest gem sent to me by a friend (I think...) that just tickled my sadistic "tear it down" fancy.  It's short, yes, but that doesn't leave it open for ridicule and burning.  So let's get down to it:
The first thing our little forward friend does is introduce themselves.  This is a technique used by many annoying people in the world: telemarketers, door-to-door salesmen, hormonally-challenged high school boys at dances....  It's safe to say that this person will be no different than they.  Now, they will either: A) Try to sell you something or B) proposition you.  Either way, they'll definitely try to play at your conscience.
Let's look at the irrationality of this one.  See, I seriously doubt that AOL or Microsoft or any other company is going to pay five cents (or one cent or a half a cent) to someone to help their child with brain cancer or leukemia or whatever disease they got.  Why?  Because there's no reason to.  Especially if they pay said price for every person this e-mail reaches.  Not only would it take too much time and effort and manpower to track the dang thing, but it would also be money out of their own pockets.  For one measely kid.  One.  Imagine if they did that for every kid in the world that had some disease.  That would be money they weren't using on upgrades and such, thus taking away from the American public.  They'd be out of business quicker than you could say, "AOL SUX0RZ!!!!"
I don't need to point out the SNAG here.  It's quite blatantly obvious.  Get a day job, Krista Marie.  Wait, I forgot: you don't exist.

Tune in next time for more ripping-down goodness.