|Attachment count (AKA How Many Addresses My Inbox was Forced to Convert into Attachments).
Remember to FORWARD if you want the animation to show up.
"Replying" will cancel it out when it is sent on.
You MUST pass this ROSE on to at least 5 people
within the hour of receiving this rose.
You're My friend,
! through good times
through happy and sad,
beside me you stand,
beside me you walk,
you're there to listen,
you're there to talk,
with pain and tears,
I know you'll be there,
throughout the years!
You are all good friends to me
and I am grateful to you.
Forward this to all your good friends on-line
to show them you are friends.
If you send this to:
1 person - you are lonely
2 people - you have a couple friends, but not many
3 people - you have a few friends...
4 people - you have some friends...
5 people - you have several friends!!
6 people - you have many friends!!
! ! ! 7 people - you are sooo loved!!
This is sweet I better get it back!
There are two things wrong with this picture (for starters):
1) It tells me, right off the bat, that I "MUST" send off this "rose" (which, it turns out, is a falsehood. There is no "rose", but rather four "roses". They must have learned to count in a Florida high school). No one tells me what I "MUST" and MUST NOT do regarding my e-mail.
2) They then tell me I "MUST" actually FORWARD the message, otherwise the animation won't show up. Wah. I'm sure that everyone will be crying at that prospect. "OH NOS! Teh animaishun isnt shownig!!!" Next, they'll tell me that I'm gonna die if I don't send this off.
Well, things are looking good so far! They strangle my browser with some crappy animation, ruin my eyes with glaring red text and now I think I will love and cherish this forward forever and ever! I'll put it in the beloved folder labeled "Trash". But wait! Now there's a POEM! YES! A genuine FORWARD POEM! Let me tell you how grateful I am to the anonymous person who sent me this. Or not. How about I launch a nuclear attack on their house instead? Because this poem is not only hypocritical, it also promotes very bad poetry. You keep sending this around, the person who wrote it will think their poem was good. Then, they'll write more. Who knows what that could lead to?
Well, I manage to wade through the thought-provoking (vomit-inducing!) poem and get to (you guessed it) the SNAG. For those of you just joining us, the SNAG (Stupid Nagging Allurement Grip) is the section of the forward explaining in whatever color, font or text size why you ABSOLUTELY MUST send this to your friends (or enemies, however you cut the cake). This particular gem tells me that I have to send it to my online friends to show that we are friends. If I had to do that, I think it'd be safe to say they aren't really my friends. Unlike some AOL (porn!) addicts, I don't need to send funky-colored, grammatically-challenged e-mails to ensure my friendships. Actually, I think deleting them and discontinuing the chain is more a sign of friendship. But that's not all. This forward not only has a SNAG, but also... ANOTHER SNAG! Two SNAGs in one forward? I have to send this. Or not. This one hacks at your self-esteem issues (if, unlike me, you do have some). Not only are they saying I have to send this forward to show I'm friends with someone, you're now telling me I need to send it to prove how loved I am! It's like I can't count out how many friends I have to determine my Loved Factor. Not that a friend-count is necessary for that. I know someone with tons of friends that is loved only slightly more than an infectious disease. Just look at almost any preppie group.
Oh, wait... there's not two SNAGs; there's THREE! OH MY HECK! Don't you want to send this to all your friends?! This one tells you that the sendče wants this forward returned to them, deeming whoever sent this to you an insecure lamer. It's best to just remove them from your address book and block their address from your inbox, messengers and mailbox, thus breaking all contact with them. Trust me; you'll be all the better for it.